The Scariest Words A Dad Can Say: Grab Me That Phillips Screwdriver

We play a game called "What Are We Talking About" every morning on our radio show. The answer for this morning was 'screwdriver,' which instantly triggered my PDSD- Post Dad Stress Disorder.

While some of us had presumably asked, at some point, to help their dad with a remodeling project or car repair, others were pressed into duty against their will.

I don't know about your dad, but mine wasn't exactly 'patient' when it came to helping him out, especially with tools involved. With that being said, I generally avoided being dad's assistant.

Don't get me wrong- my dad rules! I would consider him among the biggest role models (and best friends) I have in my life. It's just that he had a certain way of doing things, pace he wanted to work at and a level of quality that he couldn't possibly get out of a toddler.

I WAS THERE

I was there holding the flashlight when the furnace went out in '85. I was there, manning the hose when the sump pump failed in '89. And, I was there, holding the nails, when we repaired the patio in '91. I was there.

I knew what a flashlight was. I knew what a hose was. And, I knew what nails were. For whatever reason I could not get one thing right: "Can you grab me a ___ screwdriver?"

PHILLIPS OR FLAT-HEAD SCREWDRIVER 

Seeing it written out makes it very, very obvious which is which. Flat-head pretty much says it all, doesn't it? That doesn't change the fact that whenever my dad would ask me for one or the other I would stare into that toolbox for what felt like lifetimes, wondering which one he was asking for.

IS IT ONE OF THESE, SIR? 

We would go over it somewhat frequently, in non-pressure situations but I was like an athlete that dominated at practice but choked when it was time for the big game: I just couldn't figure it out!

Other trip-ups for me included metric vs SAE sockets, hex keys and the different types of screws for different jobs.

Eventually, obviously, I figured it out. I even built my own, semi-functional patio a few years ago! With tools!