Five Tips to Pick the Perfect Pumpkin For Spooky Fun

Fall weather is back! No, really. I'm reasonably kinda sorta somewhat maybe sure this time...I guess. Either way, it's pumpkin pickin' season, our wallets are tight...so we've gotta make the most of our gourding time.

Be sure to not pick a dud. Here's how...

5 Tips For Pickin' the Perfect Pumpkin

These tips are not intrusive, so leave the carving knife at home, Greg. Also of note: these tips are to find the perfect carving pumpkin for jack-o-lanterns. Pumpkins for pie are different. Or not. You do you, boo...

#1: Hüsker Dön't if you find (Bob) Mo[ü]ld

• Check for soft spots and mold. A little gentle poking will find any soft spots. Check underneath the pumpkin and give it a gentle push. If it gives, it ain't fresh.

#2: Hard to Handle (now, gets around)

• Is the handle/stem intact? If it's a dark green, that means it was picked recently. If it's brown, put it down.

#3: A Shell of My Friend, Just Flesh and Bone

• Tap the pumpkin. If it sounds Hollow, it'll be easier to STAB IT AND CARVE IT UP

#4: All in All You'll Want a Pumpkin with a Flat Wall

• Pumpkins with flat walls and shallow ribs make for better carving. Tall, oblong gourds are more difficult to cut because of their stringier flesh. Flesh? Flesh.

#5: Don't Have a 19th Nervous Breakdown, Just Set it Down

• Set that gourd on a flat surface. If it sits upright and doesn't lean to one side, you have a winner! Unless you're looking for a lean-y pumpkin.

If all that you see is absolute horror (meaning that you've found the One), carry that guy from the bottom or totes ma-goats it in a bag. Carrying it by the stem is for Smashing Pumpkins.

H/T: The Kitchn