AND OUT OF THE BLUE...

I came to work this morning, minding my own business. Everything was fine, or so I thought.

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WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

I set my purse down on the floor beside me, put my coffee on the counter, and then set a large manila envelope of papers on the floor as I adjusted my chair and removed my jacket.

Once I sat down, I reached down to pick up my manilla envelope. Much to my surprise, there were ants crawling ALL over it. I mean ALL OVER IT! I picked up my envelope by the corner and proceeded to get rid of the ants and then sat back down.

SOMETHING HAPPENED

Unfortunately, something happened inside of me over this simple little incident. Normally, if I see a bunch of ants in the great outdoors, I can watch them for a long time; I find it amazing how hard the little things work all day long, bringing food and carrying leaves back to wherever it is they are going. I think the little roadways of busy ants are a cool thing.

But today...seeing those ants all over my paperwork, gave me the heebie geebies. The next thing I know, I feel a tickle on my arm and realize there are ants all over me.  They are crawling on my boots, my legs, my arms. It was like I came to work and sat down right in the middle of their nest.

FREAKING OUT

Now, of course, I'm really freaking out. I find another bag that has ants crawling all over it, and I started to empty the contents of the bag to see if there was something in it that they were after. There was nothing open in that bag, but I picked up a box that I thought was clear, and when I opened it, it was filled with ants. I dropped it and let out a blood-curdling scream. My Co-Worker looked at me like I had lost my mind.

Photo by hybridnighthawk on Unsplash
Photo by hybridnighthawk on Unsplash
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IS THIS ANXIETY?

Since the ant incident, I feel like I can't breathe. My skin is crawling. I can't focus. My head is itching. I can't remember anything. Ugh. I feel awful! So, rather than calling the doctor and being put on medicine, what are some things I can do RIGHT NOW to calm down?

  • Limit caffeine? I only have one cup of coffee in the morning. I don't think this is my answer.
  • Get More Rest? That would be a yes. I haven't had a full night's sleep since giving birth in 1993.
  • Exercise. Yeah. I just have to find something that is interesting. I don't know what my exercise jam is right now.
  • Take Deep Breaths. I do this daily several times a day, and yes. It works.
  • Count to 10 slowly. I do this along with deep breathing because you can do it anywhere, and it definitely helps.
  • Figure out WHAT is triggering these feelings in the big picture. I want to do everything and I just don't have enough time in a day.
  • Let go of perfectionism...Doing my best is good enough. I never feel like I'm a good enough Mom, worker, girlfriend, daughter, or friend.
  • Stop thinking about everything that's coming up, and live in the moment. Focus on right now, not tomorrow.

I don't know about you, but I constantly feel pressure to be better than what I am; to do more than I'm doing, and sometimes I think we just need to take a step back and realize we don't have to do everything and give ourselves some grace. That means YOU too. You're okay. Just breath. You don't have to take the whole world on your shoulders.

 

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