ADVICE: How Minnesotans Can Best Survive A Frantic Christmas

STOP THE INSANITY! You don't have to feel like your sanity is roasting over an open fire. The holidays are supposed to be joyous, right?

...RIGHT?!

1 bourbon, 1 scotch, 1 beer, mixed (Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash)

How to Survive the Holidays Without Going Full-Scrooge

To be fair, Scrooge eventually redeemed himself, but he caused a LOT of pain first. You don't have to do that! Here's how:

#1: Keep Expectations Realistic

Comparison is the thief of joy. So are porch pirates. Literally. Let the kids get excited for Christmas, but don't let them think they'll get everything they've ever wanted. You don't have to bake eleventybillion cookies, either. Get the kids to help with the cookies, but keep their tasks compatible with their skills. Make it FUN! And make them help with the cleanup.

#2: Don't Misuse Santa

This means: don't threaten the kids to be good, lest Santa skip the house this year because of their naughtiness. It's an easy out, but when they see the jerkfaces down the street still got a bunch of presents from Santa, they'll have questions...for YOU.

#3: Don't Be a Christmas Martyr

#1 will help with this. Putting everyone's needs above your own may seem selfless, but burning yourself out increases the odds of you burning down Christmas (hopefully only metaphorically). #1 is the first one for a reason.

#4: Don't Be a Grinch

No matter what, the holidays are going to bring stress. Absolutely avoid complaining around the kids. Younger kids process information egocentrically (they'll blame themselves), and that will help nobody.

#5: Don't Go Too Far With the Capitalism

Yes, it drives the economy, but it misses "the point" of Christmas: giving. Let the kids enjoy the presents, but be sure not to forget the advice of The Three Wise Men +1 (classic rock edition): teach your children well.

The camel is implied (Getty Images)