A New Super Bowl Conspiracy to Replace the Old Conspiracy

Pay no attention to the radio jock who's putting on a tin foil hat, sticking his head into a microwave, and activating the popcorn setting while yodeling the Star-Spangled Banner.

Okay NOW look at me, but ignore the burnt-butter stench. There's still a Super Bowl conspiracy!

The OLD Super Bowl Color Conspiracy

The previous (and twice-proven) Super Bowl Color Conspiracy involved the colors of the official logos. This year the colors are purple and red, so the assumption was the Super Bowl was scripted to be the Ravens vs the 49ers.

Welp, the Ravens sh#t the bed last night, so THAT conspiracy is out the window.

"Ope" (Getty Images)

The NEW Super Bowl Color Conspiracy

Super Bowl whatever will feature the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers. What are the main colors of both teams?

Red.

What's the title of (sorry) Taylor Swift's fourth album AND her second re-recorded album?

Red.

What color have gatekeeping football bros been seeing since Swift began showing up to football games to cheer on Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce?

RED.

Cry harder, bros (Getty Images)

What's Old is New Again

This whole time we've been hyper-focused on the purple and red of the Super Bowl logo, the NFL has been making bank on the Swiftie invasion of the hallowed beer-soaked grounds.

At least Vikings fans have had something else to complain about besides Kirk Cousins.

Cry hardest, muchachos (Getty Images)