Cheer Up – You’re Single On Valentine’s Day
You might think that being single on Valentine’s Day is a total bummer. You see couples holding hands, walking down the street with heart shaped balloons, and pictures of them smooching all over each other on social media. Oh yes, that’s the life, isn’t it? Wrong! (Insert buzzer noise here.) Romantic relationships, done correctly, are hard work. It’s not all bubble gum and lemon drops. But if you’re still feeling a little lonely today, keep these tips in mind:
- Your wallet/purse won’t be totally empty
Let’s be honest. A big part of relationships is showering your significant other in expensive gifts in order to express your undying affection for them. This is especially true on Valentine’s Day. When you’re single, you don’t have to blow all that cash. At least not on someone else. Shower yourself in chocolates and wine of your choosing.
- You don’t have to worry about planning the perfect date
Should you go to a movie? No, that’s much too typical. Should you go for a walk on the beach? Umm, wait, it’s winter. Should you take them out to a fancy, expensive restaurant? Shucks, that won’t work either because you’re broke and you hate escargot anyway. But guess what. You’re single so you don’t have to fret about any of this. Problem solved.
- You won’t be disappointed when your date doesn’t play out like an 80s chick flick
- You can see it now: holding hands, walking down the beach, winning prizes for each other at a carnival, followed by a romantic dinner over a glass of champagne. You’ll have a minor spat with them towards the end of your dinner date and if you’re the girl, you’ll run back to your house and lock yourself in your upstairs bedroom.
- If you’re the guy, you’ll show up outside her house with a boom-box on your shoulder, playing a cheesy ballad while you profess your love to her. She’ll come running outside, and into your arms as you share a passionate, sultry kiss in the pouring rain. Right? Wrong again!
- The likelihood that your perfect date will play out like an 80s chick flick is pretty slim. More than likely, you’ll go to a movie (which is generic, and therefore a turnoff) sit awkwardly with each other as you wait for the film to end, and end up not even spending the night with them because your terrible dating plans extinguished the spark of attraction you initially had for each other.
- The next day, they’ll dump you. This will send you into a period of existential angst and you’ll spend the remainder of your sad, meaningless life as a nihilist. Fortunately, you don’t actually have to worry about any of this… BECAUSE YOU’RE SINGLE!
There you have it! If you’re spending the sappiest day of the year by yourself, be thankful. Spend V-Day Han's way - Solo.